


Enough To Go Around

by sabinelagrande



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: And Then It Got Out of Hand, Clint Barton: King of the Bed, Dom/sub Undertones, Everyone Is Poly Because Avengers, Exhibitionism, F/M, Fix-It, Gangbang, Garters and Stockings Mmm, I Love You All, IDK People Call Clint Sir That's It, M/M, Military Fetish, Misuse of Occam's Razor, Multi, Orgy, Pile On Steve, Plot What Plot, Safer Sex, Spoilers, Suits, There Is No Polite Way to Say Sloppy Seconds, Threesome - M/M/F, Voyeurism, Why Is This So Long?, You heard me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-31
Updated: 2012-05-31
Packaged: 2017-11-06 09:24:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/417286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabinelagrande/pseuds/sabinelagrande
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony wants to see Steve break a sweat; it just takes one hell of a workout.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Enough To Go Around

It doesn't start innocently. It doesn't start innocently _at all_ ; the best that can be said is that it doesn't start _intentionally_.

Tony doesn't have great time-sense, definitely not a necessity when you're an engineer, also what he has Jarvis for, but Steve rode him for a good long time, almost unnecessarily long. Steve kept getting all the way to the edge and slowing down, and if he were a lesser man, Tony's fingernails might have actually cut him where they clutched at his thighs.

Tony finally comes, so hard that it's like an epiphany- and Tony has a lot of epiphanies, so he knows what he's talking about. His eyes drift shut for a moment as Steve rolls off him, laying next to him. Tony's dripping sweat, his hair matted down with it, his neck almost itching from the way it's starting to dry. "Jesus Christ," Tony says.

"Tony," Steve chides, which is kind of adorable.

He opens his eyes again, grinning at Steve; it's not until then that he notices something strange. "You're not sweating."

"Well, no," Steve says. "I have to get in a really hard work-" He cuts himself off.

Tony pushes himself up on his elbow. "No, please," he says. "Continue your thought."

"I didn't mean it like that," Steve says, and he may not be sweating, but he's blushing fit to beat the band.

" _That_ wasn't hard enough for you?" Tony says incredulously.

"It's just that I can take a lot-" His eyes go wide. "That's not what I meant either."

"It presents an interesting challenge," Tony says, and now he's gone off into science mode- different from sex mode, except when science turns him on, which is often enough that they've had to make "no sex in the lab" rules. He's sketching models in his head, ideas about body temperature and effort expended, etc. "I'll see what I can do."

Steve looks extremely skeptical, and it's really hard to blame him. "Um, okay."

"Don't worry about a thing," Tony tells him. "I'm an idea person."

\--

Contrary to its popular definition, Occam's Razor dictates that complex solutions should be whittled down to their simplest form, ditching unknown for known, whereupon everything can go back on up to the big stuff.

Complex: Steve can't get no satisfaction, and there are hundreds of variables that may be at work, none of which are obvious.

Simple: Ditching all those unknown variables, it remains clear that, while the amount available is truly magnificent, there's only so much Tony to go around.

Solution: Add more people until goal is reached.

Luckily, it just so happens that Tony's got a pretty big address book, and he flips right open to the P's.

If it were up to Tony, he'd just climb into bed with one of them and call the other one over; that's been very effective in the past, easy to solicit everyone's opinion very quickly. Unfortunately- fortunately in every other regard- those days are more or less behind him.

This one is going to take finesse. Tony can finesse.

Pepper is in the kitchen, making a sandwich and minding her own business- but if you live at Stark Tower, your business is Tony's business, so it doesn't count. "Hey," she says, giving him one of her gorgeous smiles, the kind that make him want to tie her to the bed and drag her to the altar in equal measure, even though he's not really into either kind of bondage.

She puts her head back down, focusing on the peanut butter or whatever; it's a critical error, because then Tony's behind her, trapping her between him and the counter, kissing the back of her neck, pushing her ponytail sort of ineffectually out of the way with his nose. "How is my favorite woman," he kisses her again, "in the known universe," another kiss, followed by spitting hair out, "doing today?"

She turns in his arms, kissing him properly; she tastes like grape jelly, and it's incredibly endearing, despite the fact that he likes raspberry- at least he's learned not to keep strawberry in the house anymore. She's in a mood today, because she doesn't waste much time in getting her hands onto his ass and pulling him close. 

When they part, she gives him that 'fond but not fucking around' look she's so good at. "You want something from me."

"Apparently, you do too," he says, stealing another kiss. "But there is a chance I came in here for a reason."

"Spit it out."

"I was kind of wondering if you wanted to have sex with Steve."

She cocks her head, looking at him. "Is this a trick question?"

"Not any more than anything else I ask you."

"You need to be more specific," she tells him. "I'm not just going to say yes or no. That could mean 'Are you attracted to Steve?' or 'Would you have sex with Steve behind my back?' or 'Do you want to have sex with Steve with my blessing?'."

One of the reasons Tony keeps Pepper around, one of the main reasons she runs his company, is her thoroughness and attention to detail; usually great, but not that conducive to planning a three-way. "Do you want to have sex with me and Steve?" he clarifies.

"Oh," she says, looking a little startled. This thing they've got worked out- Pepper worked it out, obviously, and Steve nodded seriously in appropriate places and Tony tried his best not to jump up and down like a kid who just wanted to go outside and play- it doesn't work like that; Pepper's with Tony and Steve's with Tony and Tony doesn't like people touching his things all that much, not even his things touching each other.

He's started adjusting that opinion pretty rapidly, but he's got a knack for on the fly customization.

"I'm not saying no," Pepper says carefully, in the voice that Tony kind of hates, because he really can't ever tell if she means no or yes, "but what exactly brought this on?"

He tells her.

She purses her lips.

"It's just an experiment," he says. He grabs her hands, swinging them a little between them. "C'mon, be my lab partner."

"You can't leave it alone, can you," she says, shaking her head.

"You're never any fun," he cajoles. "You don't have to do it, but-"

"Of course I'm going to do it," she says, blushing and rolling her eyes. "God, you're offering me sex with two gorgeous men. I'd have to be an idiot to turn that down."

"I knew you had it bad for Steve," he says triumphantly, though he's not sure why he should be triumphant about that.

"Tony," she says seriously. "I don't have anything for Steve."

There's another reason to keep her around; she sees the difference between confident Tony playing around and worried Tony masking his concern with humor, important even when it makes Tony uncomfortable. "I know," he says, kissing her knuckles. "But sex with Steve, yes?

"Of course," she says, pecking him on the lips. "It's going to take some talking, but-"

"Talk to Steve," he says, leaning forward and kissing her correctly, pushing her back against the counter. "Tell me what you decide. But right now, don't talk at all for a while."

"Can do," she says, grinding back as he presses up against her.

There's definitely no talking for a long time.

\--

When Steve and Pepper turn up, neither of them are dressed remotely like they're ready for a three-way. Steve is wearing his sweats, looking like he's just about ready for the gym- good way to get into the spirit of the game, but not exactly the sexiest thing in the world. Pepper has just come in from a meeting, so she's still wearing her suit, the emerald green one that's cut just right, the one that she wears when she needs to do serious-ass intimidation- extremely sexy, but not exactly the kind of thing you wear to get your clothes torn off.

This is going to either be really hot or really awkward, and for the life of him Tony has no idea which one.

Steve's closer, so Tony pulls in him to kiss him, quick but deep, making no mistake as to how this is going to go. "Ms. Potts is wearing too much clothing," he says, confidentially, like he's a little scandalized by her behavior. "She could use help fixing that."

"Sure thing," Steve says; if there's one thing Steve gets off on, it's chivalry, so this is right up his alley. 

"Coat hangers are on the back of the door," Tony says, and Pepper shakes her head, sighing but smiling. It's a calculated but totally necessary move, because this was probably coming; Tony had the very clear image in his head of Steve standing there with Pepper's jacket in his hand, not knowing what the hell to do with it, derailing the whole thing while he looked anxiously to Tony for help.

Thankfully, that crisis has been averted; Steve helps Pepper out of her jacket, carefully hanging it up on one of the cedar hangers. He looks a little lost after that, but Pepper's on it. "Can you unbutton me?" she says, turning and lifting up her hair. 

"Sure thing," Steve says, like he's run out of things to say. His fingers are shaking, but he fumbles open the buttons at the neck of her shirt, the totally impractical ones Tony did up this morning. It's not hot so much as it is sweet; Tony still has no idea how this is going to shake out, whether he's going to get close to his goal or just have a very polite and warm threesome with his boyfriend and his girlfriend.

Kind of hard to turn that down, actually, even though it's not what he's going for.

She turns around, lifting her arms, and he carefully pulls her shirt off, hanging it up before he actually looks at her, like he's afraid he's going to forget what he's doing entirely if he does it in the wrong order; this is highly likely, Tony's sure.

She's wearing that little bra that matches the suit, the barely-there one that hardly even covers her nipples- it's an inappropriate thing to think right now, but she really does have some brass balls, going out to take names and kick ass wearing almost no underwear, which might even be worse than no underwear at all.

Steve's straight up staring at her now. Luckily, he doesn't have to help much on the next part; Pepper undoes the hook and eye on her skirt and unzips it, shimmying a little to pull it down, and Steve crouches, helping her step out of it. Before he straightens, he puts his hand on her ankle, like it's so sexy that he can't even control himself.

Tony furrows his brow, struck by a thought. Steve is, leaving aside the icebox days, in his late twenties, but it occurs to Tony that he doesn't know if Steve's ever actually gotten any pussy in his entire life. Tony's done his level best to debauch him, but there are some services Tony just can't provide, mind-blowing experiences that Steve's been missing out on entirely.

This was an awesome plan. Tony's proud of himself.

Pepper doesn't have any right to talk about any kind of calculation Tony might be doing, because she is very specifically dressed for this occasion, in a way distinctly designed for Steve. She's standing there in her bra and panties, garters and stockings, and high-heeled shoes; Tony's half expecting Vargas to roll up into his bedroom with a paintbrush at any moment.

Steve doesn't seem to know how to do anything but stare, but Pepper just smiles at him. "It's okay," she says softly, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him. Steve makes a noise into her mouth, smoothing his hands over her back; he's not exactly as shy as it seems, because one of his hands migrates down to her ass, and he pulls her closer, crushing their bodies together.

Tony sits down on the bed, pulling his t-shirt off and tossing it away, his boxers following after it; there is absolutely no reason in this world not to stroke himself while he watches the show, because it is a damn good one. Steve tries to get her bra unhooked, which lasts about thirty seconds before he gives up, looking at her in confusion; Tony's going to teach him the old trick where you just pop it and it falls off, just to see the horrified look on Steve's face when he thinks about Tony doing that to someone in public.

Pepper grins, reaching back to unhook it herself, but she lets Steve lift it off of her; this time he seems to care a lot less about the sanctity of her clothing, letting it fall to the floor. Tony doesn't blame him, because it's less time he has to wait before taking her breasts into his hands, kneading them lightly, squeezing her nipples just so. It's pretty clear that he's never done this before, but it's _really_ clear that he's spent a _lot_ of time thinking about it.

Now Tony's getting tired of not being part of the action; he couldn't possibly get bored of it, but he's really good at getting antsy. He walks over, getting in behind Steve, running his hands up Steve's chest, underneath his shirt. Steve takes about a half-second intermission to whip his shirt off and throw it away hard enough that it thuds when it hits the wall on the opposite side of the room; that is all the separation from them that he can possibly stand or be expected to stand. He leans back to kiss Tony, his hands still roaming over Pepper's body, and Tony's absolutely sure that Steve counts himself as the luckiest son of a bitch in the world right now. 

He is not wrong.

Tony decides that's pretty much it; he slides his hand down, past Steve's waistband and down into- oh my, Steve is going commando today, maybe he was a little bit more appropriately dressed than Tony originally thought. Steve breaks away, disconnecting from everything when Tony gets his hand around his cock, moving it slowly, light enough that he's not doing much but teasing him.

"We need to be on the bed," Steve says, voice choked off with lust.

Tony's sure they needed to be on the bed fifteen minutes ago, but he feels like he'd kinda spoil things if he said that- who says he's not observant? "These first," he says, tugging at the waistband of Steve's pants, and he obligingly pushes them down and steps out of them, toeing off his shoes. Tony takes a look at Pepper, eyes roaming greedily up and down her body. "How much of that do you have to take off, exactly?" he asks.

She smirks. "Should I tell you or show you?"

"Let's go with the second one," he tells her.

She hooks her fingers underneath the strings of the panties; he didn't notice, but they're on the outside of the garters, which he's never seen before.

"How can you be so practical and so sexy at the same time?" he asks, as she pulls the panties off.

"Practice," she says dryly. "I'm not leaving the shoes on, though."

"Fair compromise," Tony says. He looks over at Steve, who hasn't said a word this entire time; Tony nudges him with his shoulder. "Go on. Gorgeous woman with no panties on. Pretty sure you know what to do."

Steve manages to surprise him; Pepper makes a shocked, delighted noise when he sweeps her right off her feet, carrying her over and depositing her in the middle of the bed. He crawls in after her, pushing her legs apart gently and bracing himself above her, kissing her slowly. 

Tony really thought he was going to be much more jealous than this, but somehow he's not. He loves Pepper and he loves Steve and they look so very good together; the only part he's jealous about is that Steve gets to be in the middle. 

This time.

He gets into bed behind Steve, kissing the back of his neck, his shoulders, slipping his hands underneath him to stroke his cock. "I'm going to watch you while you make love to her," he says, leaning up to whisper in his ear; Steve doesn't like the word "fuck," and it feels like that isn't even the right term to use right now. "And I'm going to be inside you while you do it."

Steve gasps, pulling away from Pepper's lips; Tony knew that would get his attention. "Yeah," Steve says hoarsely. "Yeah, let's do that _right now_."

Tony laughs. "Hold on a sec," he says, going for a condom and some lube.

"Can I?" Steve asks Pepper, uncertain and shaky and incredibly turned on, his hands running up her stockinged thighs and onto her skin. "Are you ready?"

She smiles up at him. "I've been ready."

"That's good," Steve says. "Really good. You have no idea how good-" She cuts him off, kissing him again. Tony starts to give Steve a condom, but he thinks better of it, handing it to Pepper instead; the chances of Steve barely being able to fumble it open in this state are pretty high, and Pepper's got pretty steady hands no matter what.

Pepper's smoothing the condom onto him and Tony's sliding slick fingers into his ass, and Steve groans, loudly, louder than he's usually prone to. He pushes forward slowly, incrementally, carefully into Pepper, just as Tony presses into him; Steve puts his head down, his face against the sheets next to Pepper's head. Pepper gives Tony a fond, hazy smile over his shoulder, and he grins back at her, very proud of his handiwork.

Steve's the one who starts moving first, moving back and forth between the two of them, experimentally. He's not exactly the most vocal person in the world, but he's got a handle on it right now; there are words coming out of his mouth that Tony has never heard him say before- he's pretty sure some of them he's never heard _anybody_ say before. "Why, Steven Rogers," Tony says. "I never."

Steve huffs a laugh. "Go to hell, Tony."

Tony grins widely. "Not until we're good and done with you." 

Pepper moves as if emphasizing the point, lifting her legs and hooking her knees over Steve's shoulders- yoga, yoga, Tony loves yoga, Tony loves yoga so much he's going to make up a song about it, even though she might well kick him in the face in this position. "Nobody's going anywhere," she says firmly. "Not if I have any say in it."

Steve is starting to move faster, and Tony wraps a hand around his hip, pushing into him harder. "You've got a half-say, and I've got a half-say," he tells her. "Steve doesn't get one."

"Hey," he protests, "I don't think that's very-" Just before he can finish, Tony snaps his hips forward, specifically to mess with him. "Ah, ah, okay, it's fine."

"Glad you agree," Tony says. "Now pay attention to what you're doing."

Steve has no qualms about that; he moves harder, faster, and Tony's right there with him, working in counterpoint. It's so good, nice and steady, and Tony'd be perfectly content to lose it at any second. "Are you-?" Steve says to Pepper. "I want you to, come on, _please_ , for _me_ -"

Tony doesn't know how anybody could turn down a request like that, especially coming from Steve, and Pepper doesn't try. She clutches at the bedsheets, moving back against him, back against both of them, and she groans when she comes, her back arching, her knees sliding down Steve's arms.

Steve's not prepared for it, not in the least; he throws his head back and swears with _great_ passion, loud enough that even Tony feels a little dirty. Tony can feel him come almost immediately, down for the count just like that, and Tony's got no reason not to follow him over, holding him close as he comes, deep inside him.

Tony stays there for a long time, just luxuriating in it- and because he's on top of Steve on top of Pepper, everybody's luxuriating with him, dammit. He finally is persuaded- not exactly gently- to move, rolling off of Steve and settling in next to Pepper, leaning over to kiss her. Steve deals with the condom before sitting up next to Tony and Pepper; some of Pepper's garters have popped, and there's a ladder running down one of her calves, but she doesn't seem to give a damn. "I'm sorry I messed up your stockings," Steve says, sounding a little nervous.

"No big deal," she tells him. "There's plenty more where that came from."

He looks at her in confusion for a moment. "Oh, right," he says, getting it suddenly, laughing a self-effacing little laugh. "I, uh, guess they're not rationed anymore."

"How are you even a real thing?" Tony says, and Steve gives him an unamused look. A thought occurs to Tony. "There was something we were supposed to do."

Pepper frowns. "I forgot all about it."

Steve looks at both of them suspiciously. "Is this about the workout thing? Because I said I was sorry. I'll say it again if I need to."

"No, now it's a quest," Tony says. "It is a thing that must be done."

Steve gives him a kind of sad look, which is weird. "Tony-"

"I promise we won't bother you about it," Tony says, but Steve still looks at him suspiciously.

He's right to be suspicious. Tony said they weren't going to bother him; he never said they were going to stop.

\--

The next experiment is harder; the go-ahead from Pepper isn't that difficult, honestly, and Steve doesn't really get a vote, but finding the rhythm guitarist is hard. 

No sense asking Happy, who's just about as straight as straight gets; Rhodey just does that thing where he puts his fingertips to his forehead, shakes his head, and walks away. He is absolutely fucking terrified of asking Natasha, not that he'd admit it to anyone, and that's about the time he gets an interesting, albeit unconventional, idea.

Unlike the rest of them, Phil- still weird to think of him as Phil, feels good in his heart but weird in his head, especially with what Tony is about to ask him for- actually has an office. It's not much, but it's a lot compared to a computer terminal on the bridge. When Tony walks in, Phil has a bunch of maps spread out, lines traced across them; he very unsubtly puts a binder over them before Tony can see much of anything. "Something I can do for you, Mister Stark?"

Tony sighs exaggeratedly. "Are we going to have the 'Call me Tony' argument again?"

"Up to you," Phil says, with a half-smile.

"I wanted to feel you out on something," Tony says innocently. "Do you want to have sex with Steve?"

"Yes," Phil says, without hesitation, like Tony's just asked him whether he wanted a glass of water or something, and wow, Tony knew he was an icy motherfucker, but that's a whole new level.

It's time to up the ante. "Do you want to have sex with me and Pepper and Steve?"

That gets a little more of a reaction, a raised eyebrow. "Are we having a hypothetical conversation?"

"Do you want this to be a hypothetical conversation?" Tony returns.

Phil thinks about it for a second. "What time?" he asks. "I stay late on Thursdays," he says. "And Wednesdays," he adds. He shrugs. "And Monday."

"Whenever's good for you," he says; this is the most efficient sexual negotiation he has ever had, and that includes some regrettable decisions made in Nevada when he was still practically a kid. "It's not like they don't live with me. We can be ready to roll in fifteen."

Phil sits back in his chair. "Why are you never this amenable when I need you to do something important?"

"This is _very_ important," Tony says, pointing a finger at him. "Besides, kinda different than getting called out to fight robot bugs from space."

Phil makes a face of disgust. "Let's hope so."

"If you're considering in any way that this might be similar to robot bugs from space, you're uninvited," Tony warns him.

"Wouldn't dream of it," Phil assures him.

"Just give Jarvis a call when you're ready," Tony says. "I'll let you get back to- what the hell _do_ you do in here?"

"I'd tell you," Phil says, smirking, "but then I'd have to kill you."

"Doesn't saying that get old?" Tony asks.

"Hasn't yet," Phil tells him, and he goes back to his map.

Tony shakes his head, but he leaves; there is the very real possibility that Phil actually will shoot him if he stays.

\--

Phil is actually not wearing a suit when he turns up, just a pair of black slacks and a dress shirt, but he might as well be, considering the general level of nakedness in the bedroom- Pepper's the most clothed, and she's down to her bra and panties.

"Pepper," Phil says warmly, kissing her on the cheek.

"Phil," she chides. "I think we can do better than that, under the circumstances."

Phil grins, kissing her for real this time, nice and slow and hot. It's very natural between the two of them, which is- it's not worrisome so much as it's kind of annoying, not because Phil's horning in on his girl but because he's really good at it.

Not to be outdone by- well, pretty much anyone- Tony grabs Phil next, kissing him hard, grabbing a handful of his ass and grinding against him. Phil looks faintly surprised when Tony lets him go, but he doesn't look like he objects at all.

"What's the plan?" Phil says, no nonsense as usual, like it's not weird that he's about to have sex with two Avengers and the CEO of a Fortune 500 company.

Tony explains the object of the game, with the sweating and the workout and everything.

Phil raises an eyebrow at him.

"If three didn't work, then four has to be different, or there's no point," he says. "What did you do last time?"

"I made a Steve sandwich with Pepper," Tony tells him. "Delicious, but apparently unfulfilling."

"I thought it was pretty satisfying," Steve offers, from where he's lying on the bed.

"The big kids are talking, Steve," Tony says.

"Then it can't be once," Phil says. "Wind him up, wear him out, then do it again." He flicks his eyes up and down Steve's body. "Maybe three times. Supersoldier and everything."

"If you want first crack at him, be our guest," Tony tells him, indicating the bed with a sweeping motion.

All of a sudden, Tony ceases to exist in Phil's world- Tony's pretty sure most of everything just drops out. Phil unbuttons his shirt, his eyes trained on Steve the entire time; he pulls it off, his undershirt following behind it. He looks better than Tony expected- Tony didn't think he wouldn't be hot enough or anything, but it's just that he didn't expect the kind of muscles he's seeing here. He's got some chest hair, an appealing amount, and yeah, as long as he doesn't look at the line of white where they sewed him back together, Tony can definitely work with this.

Because Tony can say _so_ much about avoiding the evidence of traumatic injuries to people's chests.

Phil undoes his belt and pulls it out of the loops, and then it's like he just kinda forgets to continue. Tony doesn't know if it's a power trip thing or a self-consciousness thing or just a "hey Captain America is in his boxers I need to get on that" thing, but it's like he's just done getting undressed- he doesn't even take his socks off, for Christ's sake. He climbs up onto the bed, nudging Steve's legs apart so he can get in between them. Steve looks nervous; Steve looks pretty good nervous, so that's a feature and not a bug, but Phil smiles at him, stroking a hand down the side of his face and murmuring something Tony can't hear. Tony gets it then; it's okay that he's playing with Tony's toys, because he's not going to break them.

Steve nods, and then Phil leans down to kiss him, his hand laced into Steve's hair. He's kissing Steve slowly, reverently, like he's got all the time in the world, like there's nothing else but this, never has been, never will be. There's something about the fact that this is, quite possibly, the fulfillment of Phil's jerk-off fantasies from pretty much, well, the age he started jerking off; it's kind of weirdly heartwarming to see. Tony's pretty glad it's not him that it's happening to, though, because Tony's jerk-off fantasies are often very strange, and David Bowie just doesn't do it for him any more.

It's not all sweetness and light, because now Phil's got his hand in Steve's boxers, slowly stroking his cock. Steve keeps breaking away to make little panting noises, like he's already overwhelmed just from making out and groping. Maybe he is; Tony just keeps on trying to fuck him up, recently with assistance, but underneath it he's just Steve, kid from Brooklyn, totally unaccustomed to having a hot older man- okay Coulson's only got maybe five years on Tony but he doesn't _look_ it like Coulson does, fuck you very much, and Steve is actually many years older than all of them, but _none of this is the point_ \- unaccustomed to having a hot older man on top of him, even one who's taking it slow.

Phil gets him good and wound up before he kisses his way down his neck, dropping kisses here and there as he moves down Steve's body. Steve looks lost, like he'd do anything right now; Tony's got to try this patience thing sometime, because it's producing some pretty marvelous results. Steve lifts his hips as Phil tugs down his boxers, pulling them down his legs and dropping them onto the floor. He groans when Phil puts his fingers around the base of his cock, holding it steady; he takes the head into his mouth, sucking on it briefly before he pulls away, tonguing it instead.

Then he just leans forward and swallows Steve's _entire_ dick.

Pepper and Tony give each other perplexed looks; not to put too fine a point on it, but Steve's a supersoldier made by the US military, and, God bless America, he does his country proud in every regard.

But Phil, it's like Phil doesn't notice, that or it doesn't matter very much; he pulls off and coughs politely before doing it again, and Tony decides that it matters a whole lot, but in the good way.

Phil is not known to be one to fuck around, and he's certainly not now. He's moving his head, rolling with it when Steve bucks up into his mouth, taking everything Steve can throw at him. He's going after it like this is the Stark Tower Regional Qualifiers for the International Dicksucking Olympics and this round is for the trophy.

Tony's gonna hold those next year, and he's not waiting four to do it again.

Tony sits down at the edge of the- impractically large, who says he's not a planner- bed, turning so he can see the action. He hooks an arm around Pepper's waist, pulling her in and sitting her down in front of him, facing away. It's partly so he can chew on her lovely neck in the way that makes her squirm, but mostly so he can rub off against her equally lovely ass. He slips his hand between her legs, stroking her, reciprocity and everything- yeah, because he needs a reason to get his hands on her.

He's been in some pretty amazing sexual situations before, but this one is moving up the ladder. He's never seen Steve quite like this, the way he looks when he's hip-deep in pleasure; it's not the same as when Tony's doing it to him himself. This way, he can study it in a way that he couldn't before, exactly how Steve reacts when somebody's got their very talented mouth around his cock. He's never gotten to see how Steve arches off the bed, how his head falls back and his eyes go wide; it's something not to be missed, something to think about next time Tony's blowing him, how very good he looks even when Tony can't see.

Steve's getting close; he's got his hand on the back of Phil's head, not pushing so much as petting, steadying- not that it would matter a whole lot, because Jesus, Phil is taking it like a champ. "Phil," Steve pants, "please, _Phil_ ," and Tony can hear Phil moan, even with Steve's dick in his mouth. Steve's fingers go tight in Phil's hair, his hips jerking, and goddamn he looks even better when he's coming, his mouth falling open, his whole body moving with it.

He finally lets Phil up, and Phil coughs, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Sorry," Steve says. His voice is feeble and weak, but he actually means it- that's Steve.

"No problem," Phil says; _he_ sounds equally messed up, and there's something really hot about how hoarse he sounds. Steve tugs him up, and then they're kissing again, lax and lazy, despite the fact that Phil must be hard enough to pound nails by now.

Tony wants to give them a moment to, y'know, have a moment, but he's got Pepper just about to go crazy in his arms, and he's really anxious to get in on this action himself. "Excellent work, everyone," Tony says. "I've got some door prizes here, a gorgeous young lady and my dick, so if someone would like to come and claim them?" His gambit doesn't work too well, seeing as how he's got one spent Steve and two people who are out of their minds with lust; they've probably got about four brain cells between them right now. He puts his palm to his forehead, trying to do geometry- he's only got about five brain cells himself. "Steve, get on your hands and knees. The rest of you people, figure something out."

Phil obligingly moves out of the way so Steve can roll over onto his stomach and get up on his hands. Pepper crawls towards the action, and Tony walks over to get the lube and condoms off the nightstand- even though walking really sucks right now.

He's deciding between the several bottles of lubricant on the nightstand, including the proprietary formula that might send somebody sliding right off the bed, when suddenly he hears Steve say, "I've never done this before," and Phil respond, "It's okay, let me show you."

He turns around, and Pepper's got her legs spread wide, and Phil and Steve _both_ have their faces between her thighs.

Tony fumbles the lube, almost dropping it, something that has nothing to do with the residue on the bottle. He had some plans, but now it's getting really hard to remember what they were; it's hard to do anything except stand there and watch for a long while.

He finally snaps out of it, snatching up a handful of condoms and taking whatever bottle of lube he's holding back to the tangle of people in the center of the bed. He gets in behind Steve, pumping some of the lube onto his fingers; it's not exactly the most thorough or the most gentle fingering Steve's ever gotten, but desperate times and everything.

Tony is just about to fuck the bejesus out of him when he has a thought. "Phil," he says, and Phil looks up. "You're up, buddy."

"You're sure?" he says.

"You're a guest in this house," Tony says, "and guests don't get sloppy seconds."

Phil sighs, shaking his head, and starts to get up; before he can get very far, Steve grabs him by the back of the neck, kissing him, fast and messy. Tony licks his lips involuntarily- he can just imagine what it's like, kissing when they both taste like Pepper, appealingly sloppy and just so very dirty.

He doesn't imagine it for very long, because when Phil comes around to join him, Tony kisses him too; it is every bit as salacious as he expected, maybe more than that. "C'mon, hurry it up," Tony says, as Phil pushes his pants and boxer briefs down; he tears a condom open before Phil can even get there, taking Phil by surprise by rolling it onto his cock.

"For fuck's sake, Tony," Phil says. "Give a guy a second to breathe."

Tony grins widely, kissing him again. "I wouldn't rush you if you'd get on with it."

Phil stops paying a lot of attention to him then, because he's putting his hand around Steve's hip and positioning himself with the other; Tony watches as Phil's cock disappears into Steve's ass, and it's one of the hotter things he's seen in his life.

And then Tony is the odd man out, except the part where he's not, because he's getting to see all of this, Steve with his face buried between Pepper's thighs while Phil gives it to him nice and slow. He's really very fond of all of these people, and they look really good- more than he even expected- together, so for the moment, he's very satisfied.

Moment over.

He crawls back over to Pepper; she's lost her underwear somewhere in the midst of all this, but she's still wearing her bra. It's from one of the sets she buys herself, the opaque, hot-because-it's-demure kind that always, always trump the ridiculous things that Tony buys for her. He sidles up next to her, taking one of her breasts in his hand, running his finger over the material until he can feel her nipple; he proceeds to zero in on it, sucking on it through the fabric, biting, harder than he could without it. He pulls the fabric down so he can get to her skin- she hates that, says it stretches out the fabric, but she says it in the "oh, _Tony_ , don't" way and not the "Tony, _don't_ " one, so that's a green light. 

She doesn't seem to care one bit about it right this second. She's writhing now, shaking between all these sensations; she grasps at Tony's thigh when she comes, making loud, inarticulate noises that are hot and kind of hilarious at the same time. Tony just keeps it up, going after her until she bats his head away.

Tony grabs Steve by the hair, pulling him up to look at him. "How we doin'?"

"I'm, ah." Steve groans, a particularly hard thrust from Phil knocking him forward. His cock is hard again; more unforeseen benefits of building a supersoldier, super-short refractory period.

Thanks, Dad.

"I'm good," Steve says. "I, uh- yeah. Real good."

"Then stay the course," he says, pressing his face against Pepper again. The woman in question has gone slack in Tony's arms; her kisses are hot and lush, which is exactly what Tony does and doesn't need. He catches her hand, leading it to his cock, and he moans into her mouth when she starts stroking him, her competent hand knowing exactly how to drive him mad.

He takes a look up at Phil, but Phil is definitely not with them. Phil is off in "I have my dick in my boyhood crush oh god" Land, and Tony has no interest at all in depriving him of it. He's not long for that world, though, not if the way his hips are working is to be taken as an indication. He reaches around and takes a hold of Steve's dick, leaning down over him and saying things Tony can't hear, maybe even Steve can't; Phil doesn't seem to care, just wants them to get said.

Steve is making muffled noises as Phil pushes him closer, still trying to stick what he's been told to do like a good boy- now _there's_ a hot thought- but he's rapidly losing it. He groans low, coming hard onto the bedsheets, and that's pretty much it for Phil. He slams home and comes, his fingers curled around Steve's hips, pressing in so tightly that the skin blanches.

It's a good long while before either of them move; Steve has now faceplanted into the bed, and Phil is just sitting there making satisfied, blissed-out noises. Tony's getting really anxious to get on to the big finish, so to speak, and he's on the point of snapping when they finally get their asses back in gear. Phil gets rid of the condom, and he doesn't need instruction to switch places with Tony, taking Pepper into his arms and kissing her, slipping his hand between her thighs to finish what Steve started.

Tony pushes Steve's legs open a little further, looking around for the discarded lube- which is, of course, inexplicably stuck under Steve's knee. He only needs a little; Steve is wet and loose and rag-doll limp, which is a very good look on him. Three was a nice thought, but Steve is well and truly down for the count, before Tony could even get to him; he has been bested once again by Phil Coulson, but he's having a harder time being annoyed by it than usual.

Steve moans softly as Tony pushes into him, fucking him slowly, trying to show some restraint; that lasts about a minute and a half before he's fucking hard, snapping his hips forward. He's more than a little of an exhibitionist, but nobody's paying attention to him right at the moment, so there's not a whole lot of a point in trying to make it look good or last long. Pepper and Phil are wrapped up in each other, off doing their own thing, something that's making Pepper make desperate sounds, throw her head back; Phil is kissing all over her throat, sucking at her skin, and Tony's starting to realize that he's got a hell of an oral fixation. 

Steve is only sort of paying attention to him at the moment, too busy being spaced out from a Coulson overdose- apparently a very dangerous condition. He's making all sorts of noises of encouragement, rocking his hips back against Tony's, but he's clearly not interested in coming at all, just enjoying having Tony close.

That in itself is very hot, Steve wanting him like that; he pulls away, nudging at Steve's hip. "Turn over," he says softly, and Steve does it, looking up at Tony with glassy eyes. Tony leans down over him, pushing into him again; he's about six inches shorter than Steve, so kissing him on the lips is kind of out, so he settles for kissing his chest instead, his collarbones. _Now_ he's got an audience, just when he's stopped caring, just when he's right on the verge.

"Give it up, Tony," Steve murmurs, and that's it, Tony's done completely. He spends himself into Steve's ass, making really embarrassing noises, but it's so very, very hard to care about that in the face of everything else.

It's hard to pull himself away, but he does, cleaning up a little before collapsing next to Steve. Phil and Pepper look pretty content, spooned up next to each other. "What's the verdict?" Pepper says, stifling a yawn.

Tony pushes himself up on his elbows, looking down at Steve. He's sweating a very, very little- right at his hairline, crooks of his elbows kind of thing. "This one goes in the loss column, folks."

"Damn," Pepper says, but she doesn't sound like she cares all that much.

Steve makes a whirling motion with his hand. "Call for reinforcements."

"You're in luck," Phil tells them. "I know a guy."

\--

It's not really surprising that the guy turns out to be Clint: they're the Avengers, they're all kind of weirdly wrapped up in each other, so it was already a foregone conclusion that it'd be one of them. Bruce is skittish on a good day and might just fall out if someone asked him; Thor is probably no stranger to orgies- Tony really isn't sure whether this counts as an orgy or a gangbang, but more than four people have their shoes off- but he's, uh, not exactly available at the moment. That leaves Clint and Fury, and good God.

Clint it is.

"Your first problem is that you're letting him get off," Clint says. "It's physical and _mental_. How are you supposed to make him sweat when you're not making him sweat?"

Tony's a little impressed. "You're a lot meaner than I am."

Clint ignores him. "Steve, sit against the headboard," he says. "Hands behind your back, and don't move them."

Steve does it, and now he's blushing furiously. He's pretty good at following orders, but this is a different level, getting bossed around by his teammate while he's naked; he must _like_ following orders pretty well, because he's starting to get hard. Clint gives him a considering look, like he's picking Steve apart so he can see every factor. "Have you ever gotten head from a woman before?"

Tony's impressed; dead on as usual, though it's not that hard of a deduction, given as much as they know of each other. "No, sir," Steve says, and the fact that it's not weird at all for him to say that is weird in and of itself.

"Pepper?" Clint says, asking politely rather than ordering, and he better be glad he didn't try.

"Of course," she says, like it's obvious that she was going to do it as soon as she heard; she crawls over to take Steve's cock into her hand, licking a broad stripe up it.

"You're not coming until I say," he tells Steve. "Remember that."

"Yes, sir," Steve moans.

"Repeat what I just told you," Clint demands.

"I can't come until you say, sir," Steve says, his voice tight and thin.

"Glad to see you're with us, soldier," Clint says approvingly. Tony knew Clint was a great strategist, but he didn't know Clint was some sort of carnal mastermind; it is proving really hard not to be impressed by that. "The two of you," he says. "Do something hot and make it look good."

"Are you gonna come over here and help?" Tony asks, because Clint is only a few feet away, but that is a long way in sex miles.

"I don't see well close up," Clint says, and that's interesting and really predictable at the same time.

Tony doesn't press it. "So what are we doing here, Hawkeye?" 

He shrugs. "Figure it out. I'm not going to spell it out for you."

"Why not?" Tony asks. "You've already come this far."

He looks at Phil. "Do you think you can fuck him until he shuts up?"

"No," Phil admits freely.

Clint grins. "Go on and try it for me."

"Do I get a say in this?" Tony asks.

"No," Clint says.

"Fair enough," Tony replies; he's not sure when this became The Clint Barton Show, featuring the Phil Coulson Orchestra and Special Celebrity Guests, but he reaches for the lube anyway. Before Phil can take it away from him, he slicks up his own fingers, kneeling up so he can press them inside himself. It's been a while, but it still feels good; he rocks against them, trying to get them deeper inside.

He jumps when another hand covers his; Tony moans as Phil slides another finger in alongside his, stretching him further, spreading him out. Tony's not into the fucked-without-prep kind of pain, but it's kind of hard to stop himself from just knocking Phil's hand away and grabbing his cock. He waits it out, keeping his fingers moving, distracting himself by watching Pepper slide her pretty lips up and down Steve's cock; she keeps tucking her hair back behind her ear as she works, and somehow that simple, utilitarian action is so dirty, goes straight to his dick, looks so much like the kind of thing that people do in porn so they don't block the shot.

Doesn't take all that long before he's had enough; he pulls away, pushing Phil back until he's sitting down, right across from Steve and Pepper. He rolls a condom onto Phil's cock and holds it steady- who knows when it became a totally normal thing to take Phil Coulson's dick up his ass, but whatever works- and then he just sits down on it, tossing his head back and groaning. Damn, it has been a long time, because Phil's cock feels huge inside of him, pressing on just the right spot when he moves his hips.

As Tony starts to ride Phil, he looks straight into Steve's eyes. He's going for a sort of "Don't you wish your girlfriend" look, but he knows it doesn't work from the look on Steve's face, fond despite the fact that it's also covered with lust, eyes dark and hooded.

Devastatingly inappropriate look on Captain America. Really something to see.

Clint is watching all of them with appraising eyes, not moving; his cock is hard, distending the fabric of his boxer briefs, but he's not doing anything about it, not touching himself at all. He seems to realize Tony is looking at him, because Clint points that laser beam stare straight at him, and Tony, Lord help him, actually gulps. It's hot and terrifying; he wants Clint to never look at him again and he wants to put on the best goddamn show Clint's ever seen. He does what's sort of in the middle, tipping his head back and shutting his eyes as he rides Phil harder, maybe as hard as he's ever done it to anyone.

Tony's pretty sure that it takes about twenty-five seconds before he's desperate to come; Phil's fucking up into him like his life depends on it, and Tony's only complaint about this situation is that he's not coming _right this instant_.

"Come on and do it, Stark," Clint snaps, like he owns the place- but don't tell Tony's dick that he doesn't, because Tony goes off without being touched, overloaded all at once. Phil doesn't wait after that, grabbing Tony's hips hard and pulling him down, pumping up into him a couple more times before he's done.

"Jesus Goddamn," Tony sighs, half-falling off of Phil.

"Yeah," Phil says, getting rid of the condom and collapsing next to him.

Across the way, Pepper's still going at it, a lovely sight to behold, and Steve's cheeks are turning bright red; he's biting his lip hard, the way he does when he's trying not to come or trying not to swear- sometimes both.

"That's plenty," Clint says, and Steve makes a noise of loss when Pepper pulls away from him. She gives Clint a look that says she's humoring him because she finds it interesting, which makes her a better woman than Tony; Clint could tell him to jump out the window right now and Tony wouldn't even put on his bracelets first. He looks at Tony and Phil, cocking his head at Pepper. "Entertain the nice lady until you're ready to go again."

Tony would probably be more annoyed by Clint's attitude if he didn't have such good ideas; he grabs Pepper by the arm, pulling her up so she's between him and Phil. He takes her face into his hands, kissing her intently, long and hot, nipping at her bottom lip. When he lets her go, Phil has already succeeded in getting his hands on her, his fingers already dipping inside of her.

He has a thought; he leans down and mouths her breasts while he turns it over, sucking at her nipples just the way she likes it. "Come on and help me out," he says, pushing her legs wider apart, making no secret of what he means by that.

Phil doesn't pretend for an instant that he's going to turn that offer down. He moves down so that he's kind of across from Tony, on the other side of her body. "You people are trying to kill me," Pepper murmurs.

"That's Steve's line," Tony tells her. He looks at Phil. "Should we count to three?" he asks.

Phil leans down; with no prelude, he licks up the side of her clit, making her hips jerk. "Then we'd lose the element of surprise," he says, smiling.

"You are one devious motherfucker," Tony says, as he slides his fingers inside of her, moving them slowly in and out.

"Hate both of you," Pepper says, through clenched teeth.

"We're probably the last people you want to say that to right now," Tony points out. Phil just snorts, lowering his head again; Pepper moans as he laps at her, his tongue darting out to taste her. Listening to Pepper and watching Phil, they're making it really hard to concentrate, but he keeps fucking her slowly, fast enough to be worth it but still slow enough to tease. She spreads her legs wider when he adds another finger, giving it to her a little harder. Just when she's got it figured out, he takes his fingers away entirely, licking her instead, delving inside of her. She's soaking wet, and everything about this is fucking amazing. 

She's getting closer; he takes his mouth away and gives her his fingers again, pushing them in deeper, harder, and when she comes she bucks so hard that she actually knocks Phil's head away. Tony moves back up her body, keeping his fingers moving while she rides it out, rolling her hips through the last of it. He kisses her, knowing how much she likes it and can't admit it, when she can taste herself on his lips. Lucky for her, it's double- quadruple? quintuple?- your pleasure day, because Phil stretches out along her other side, and she gets to kiss him too, until her face is wet as either of theirs.

This is Tony's cue to start lobbying for that girl-on-girl-on-Tony threesome he's been asking for again. Come _on_ , it ought to be in his Day-Timer by now.

Tony's not quite there again yet, but he's getting towards it, his cock definitely starting to make itself known again. It gets a lot faster when Pepper's hand wraps around it; she's still kissing the both of them, and good Lord, she never told Tony she was ambidextrous. Soon enough, he's more than ready to go, moving into Pepper's fist, wondering if there's any good reason he shouldn't just do it until he comes. 

"That's enough," Clint says- oh right, Clint's why, because Clint crowned himself King of the Bed, long may he reign. 

Tony rolls away from Pepper, putting his hand behind his head and taking a nice long look at Steve, who looks desperate enough to die. "Call it, your majesty," he says, looking at Clint.

"You can move now, Steve," Clint says, and Steve moves his hands, stretching his arms out. "Name of the game is Pile On Steve."

"What a coincidence," Tony says. "That is my favorite game."

Clint grins. "Pepper takes it, Phil gives it, and Tony, you can have what you want."

Tony's got no end of snappy remarks for that, but Pepper's grabbing for condoms like she's getting ready to make it rain, and that is just so much more interesting. Steve is busy being completely useless, letting Pepper and Phil push and pull him- lovely and a pain in the ass, considering Steve could take down all of them, just by virtue of how much bigger than any of them he is.

But soon enough everything is arranged; Tony thinks fondly of the time not so long ago that he was in Phil's position, but they've switched it up a little, Pepper on her stomach- Tony approves, deeper that way, easier to go harder. Easier too for Tony to slot himself into this little arrangement; if he straddles Pepper's head, doing everything in his power to remember not to sit on her, he can grab Steve by the back of his neck and pull him onto his cock, all without dislodging Phil.

The only thing that would make this better is if he could eat pancakes while he did it.

He could, but he won't. Syrup only sounds sexy until you try it.

There's a time to go slow and there's a time when fuck a whole bunch of that, and this falls squarely in the latter category. Phil has gone straight into take-no-prisoners mode, fucking Steve rough and quick, hard enough that he's shoving Steve forward with every stroke, deeper into Pepper and farther down Tony's cock. By the noises she's making, Pepper's been overclocked, gone off to that very special place where she can't seem to do anything but come, where it's a wonderful joy and an intense struggle all at once to keep up with her. The fact that he's even holding off at all proves that Steve is a true master at- okay maybe it was an orgy a minute ago but this is definitely a gangbang now, what Steve is good at is getting gangbanged, apparently. This knowledge is so amazing that Tony kind of wants to make t-shirts to commemorate its discovery; honestly, if he had anywhere to wear them, he probably would.

"Goddammit," Phil is saying, through clenched teeth, his voice low and hard, and it's unbelievably sexy for some reason. "Son of a _bitch_."

"Harder," Tony says, and he has no idea how loud it is, but it's enough that Phil looks at him, pupils so wide that his eyes look black. It's how Phil should look all the time, careful, cynical composure torn to pieces, showing what's really underneath, the creature that Coulson really is; then again, if Coulson looked like that all the time, Tony wouldn't get any work done at all, and he kind of gets the sense that Clint would kick his ass a lot. "C'mon, fuck him _harder_."

"You want it, you got it," Phil tells him, moving faster, like he's trying to fuck Tony right through Steve.

Pepper and Steve are not part of this conversation.

Phil is going to go off any second, but Tony ends up beating him to it, pulling out and coming hard onto Steve's face, just because he can, just because it embarrasses Steve and turns him on in equal measure.

"It's gotta be now, Barton," Phil warns, and it looks like it's physically painful to slow down. "Now or never."

"Rogers," Clint barks. "On my mark."

"Yessir," he slurs, and Phil speeds up again, giving it to him harder, hard as he can.

"Three," Clint says slowly. "Two." He's drawing it out, making him wait. "One." Steve is shaking now, trying so, so hard to do what he's been told, and Tony really didn't know he had it in him. "Mark!" 

Steve shouts something incoherent, and Tony actually has to catch him before he can crush Pepper or throw Phil across the room or something. Steve is yelling and Phil is groaning and Pepper's still not with them, honestly, which is fine, because she seems just as happy as hell.

Then there's nothing, just a lot of heavy breathing and people tangled together; Tony fusses around cleaning up, because he's the most put-together person at the moment, which is _really_ saying something. When that's done, he gets himself tangled in with them, nice and sweaty and a little sticky, as it should be.

He looks over at Clint, only one eye open, and Clint is looking at all of them with a smug smile on his face; there's a wet spot on his briefs just over the head of his cock, but he's still hard, satisfied but not quite done. "Coulson," he says, and Phil looks up from where he's got his head pillowed on Steve's stomach. "Get over here and suck me dry."

"On it," Phil says, rolling his neck and crawling over, pulling Clint's shorts down and wrapping his lips around his cock. Clint's not exactly the most courteous guy in the world; he grabs Phil by the back of the head and just starts fucking his mouth, and yeah, if this is what he's getting at home, Tony sees why Steve wasn't any problem at all.

It's really hot, but only in a distant way, because Tony is well and truly out of commission. Clint takes longer than Tony expected to come, but by god he's earned it, because that was a job very well done. He's barely finished before he pushes Phil backwards, stretching out on top of him and kissing him.

It's not until then that Tony even thinks to look at Steve; Steve's looking at the ceiling, and he's still making little noises, like he's having aftershocks. He looks like he's just run a marathon, hair stuck to his forehead, rivulets of sweat drying on the side of his face.

And Tony, before he can even think about it, actually sits up in bed, tosses his hands into the air, and shouts, "It's good!"

Everyone looks at him.

"Sorry," Steve mumbles.

Tony gives him a look, and something clicks. "Are you apologizing for me, or apologizing for yourself?"

"Sorry you had to go to all that trouble just for me," he says, and only him, only Steve Rogers, no one else in the _world_ but Steve Rogers would apologize for the inconvenience of causing a gangbang.

This is why you don't invite an Eagle Scout to an orgy.

"There is no one in this room who thinks that was trouble," Clint says.

"There is no one in this room who would not do it again right now if they could," Tony says, backing him up. He looks down. "Except Pepper, maybe. I think she might be dead." Pepper makes a murmuring noise, just to confirm that she is, in fact, still alive. "Yeah. Then everybody agrees."

"Oh," Steve says.

"Yeah, oh," Tony says. "Now, who's up for the Jacuzzi? It seats twelve."

"I don't think a hot tub is a good idea right now," Phil says.

"It's not a hot tub," Tony informs him. "You soak in a hot tub. You bathe in a Jacuzzi."

"The more you know," Phil says, laying his head on Clint's shoulder.

"Jarvis," Tony calls. "Fill 'er up."

"Not again, Tony, I'm done," Pepper says blearily, and Clint busts out laughing.

" _Well_ ," Tony says. "Anyway. Fifteen minute break while the tub fills up. Bathroom's to your left, kitchen's to your right, and making out is wherever you feel like."

Phil raises an eyebrow at him. "You're acting suspiciously like you expect this to happen again today."

Tony looks at him blankly. "Of course I am."

He sighs. "I'm an old man, Stark, I don't know why you think this is going to work."

"It's three in the afternoon and I have my physician on speed-dial," Tony says sweetly. "If you need some little blue pills, let me know."

Phil narrows his eyes, and Tony knows he's hit exactly the right mark. "I won't be needing them."

"Exactly what I wanted to hear," he says, crawling over and climbing out of bed. "I'm coming back with popcorn," he tells them. "Try not to do much that's interesting before I get back." Phil clearly has a response for that, but suddenly Clint's on top of him again, and that's the end of that.

Tony looks at all of them, scattered across his bed in various states of consciousness and satiety; these are some of his favorite people in the world, he thinks to himself, and he's spent a whole afternoon not screwing it up with them.

It might be a record.

"I heard something about popcorn," Steve says, pushing himself up on his hands.

"Coming right up," Tony tells him, and the only doubt in his mind is whether microwaved really is as good as Jiffy Pop.

Feels good.


End file.
